Andrea Payo is the coordinator of Family Centers' Young Parents Program
I am the lucky aunt of a beautiful 5-year-old autistic girl.
Having a child with autism is something that our family never expected,
nor were we ready for it. She came into this world being quite different
than the rest of us. And that's fine with us, as we love her exactly
the way she is.
Children with autism have characteristics and behaviors that are considered unusual.
These could include a lack of eye contact, repeating words over and
over again, having difficulty sharing toys, keeping to themselves,
struggling when making transitions and avoiding human interaction.
What's more common is that autistic children have trouble verbalizing
themselves and their needs, which often leads to tantrums, meltdowns
and misbehaviors.
In struggling with the challenges associated with autism, many of these kids may also suffer from sensory processing disorder.
Things that most of us can easily handle, such as bright light, loud
sounds, different smells, flavors and textures can turn into negative
stimulus and become a major cause of distress and confusion.
On the surface, autistic kids aren't any different from other kids. They love to play, have fun and have hopes and dreams.
Unfortunately, their social, emotional and sensory challenges are
often unpredictable and flare-ups can happen at the most inopportune
times. Sadly, since a large portion of the population is not educated on
autistic behaviors, these kids are labeled as "problem children."
Parents of autistic children are often considered poor disciplinarians, as well.
On several occasions, when I have taken my niece to public places
such as the grocery store, beach or a playground, I have received
disapproving looks.
They stare at us wondering why this girl is walking in circles or throwing things for no apparent reason.
Receiving this type of disapproval (no matter how confident you might
be) can produce a negative effect on you. Despite the fact, as a
parent, you do everything you can to create a happy and safe life for
your child, other people's perceptions can weigh on you.
The truth is that parents aren't the only ones affected by the social
stigma associated with autism. Many autistic children are very aware of
their condition and can experience feelings of sadness -- especially
when others aren't understanding.
It is my belief that the only way to counteract this unfair stigma is
to generate and encourage open and clear discussion about autism.
Increasing autism awareness among those who are not affected with autism
personally, would eventually lead to more tolerance for those who don't
fit the mold, and their families.
The prevalence of autism in the United States is 1 in 88 children.
Hopefully, in a near future, more and more people will think twice
before judging an autistic child who is having a meltdown and screams
hysterically for "no reason" -- or perhaps, a child who repeats himself
over and over again, or a child who is constantly hand flapping or even
just spinning around.
Being the parent of an autistic child is hard and challenging. Being
autistic is challenging. Parents and children with autism are very
likely to be judged and bullied. Ideally, we will reach that point where
people understand what parents and children coping with autism need.
What they deserve from us is our support, our love and our respect.
Andrea Payo is the coordinator of Family Centers' Young Parents Program. With offices in Greenwich, Stamford, Darien and New Canaan, Family Centers is a United Way, New Canaan Community Foundation and Community Fund of Darien partner agency that offers counseling and support programs for children, adults and families. Contact her at 203-324-3167or visit www.familycenters.org.
Source : GreenWich Citizen , 31st May 2013
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